Nathan’s Dialogue Contest

Last night, after spending the entire time I had alotted to revise my manuscript picking out a bit of dialogue, I thought I might as well follow suit and post it to my blog. I realized this is the first sample of my writing I’ve ever posted. *gulp*

Anyway, with not the slightest hopes of winning, here is my entry:

“We should go right now,” Iloria said. “Maybe we can catch Garett at the crossroads.” She stood. “Come on.”

Filled with self-loathing, Tristan shook his head.
“I’m not going.”

She frowned. “What?”

“We have to bring him back, Iloria. We have to.”

“I know . . . so, we’ll go and—”

“No.”

She stared at him, confused, and yet aware of the tone in his voice.
“What are you saying, Tristan?”

“We’ve fallen behind. We still have to get to Woodmere in three days.”

“And Garett?”

Tristan couldn’t look at her as he spoke “You are going to get him.”

“Alone?”

“There is an outpost a mile from here. We’ll pay for an escort to—”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Tristan sighed. “It’s the only way.”

“No. It’s not. We could go together.”

“That would only make things worse. He has to have a reason to come back. It has to be just you.”

Iloria’s breath was tight. “What do you mean, reason?”

“You know.”

“I don’t,” she snapped. “Tell me what you meant.”

Tristan pushed his fingers into his temples, trying to somehow shut out the pain that coiling was inside him.
“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say it.”

“You know why.”

“Say it.” Her eyes were fierce, but glistening with tears.

Tristan looked away.
“Iloria, the only reason he was willing to be a part of this in he first place was you. And . . . if he has you again, maybe he’ll come back.”

Share

4 Comments

  1. Natalie on May 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Renee I really like it! It’s fast paced and interesting. It also feels like a little piece on it’s own. I think you made a good choice.

    Don’t worry about not winning, if this contest draws as many as last time (over 600!), it’s hard to feel bad about losing:)

    (Oh and just so you all know, my verification code to enter this comment it POOPVSKC. This makes me happy.)



  2. Kiersten on May 20, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    I get the verification codes wrong at least half of the time. Drives me nuts.

    This looks great, Renee! It makes me want to know the story behind it…



  3. Renee Collins on May 20, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    LOL, I can’t believe that over 600 people entered last time. That’s absolutely astonishing. How did he have time to wallow through 600 entries?
    I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised. There are already almost 300 entries.
    It’s just crazy to me, because when I entered last night (at about 150) I thought that I was one of the last ones.
    Hah. Well, it was fun to toss my stuff in there and read some of the really great entries (Natalies and Kiersten’s included.:)



  4. Natalie on May 20, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    Yeah Renee, last contest was nuts! It was a first page contest and he allowed 500 words! He got smart and put that down to 250 this time.

    It’s a really fun thing to participate in though, and it’s always interesting to see what one person picks.