ramblings

I feel all a flutter tonight, and I don’t really know why. I’m tired, but I don’t want to go to bed. I’m too jittery to read. I can’t work on Midas (or I don’t want to, not sure which.) I just need to blog.

It all started when Ben and I went to Barnes and Noble. I picked up an issue of Writer’s Digest magazine. There was an article called “28 Agents who want to read your story,” or something like that. Well . . . that got it all started.

I have spent the last several hours researching agents online, and now I’m all crazy inside.

A part of my is excited. I found several agents that are SO FANTASTIC! Wouldn’t it be amazing to be their client? What if they like me? Is it possible? My heart starts racing, my stomach is filled with butterflies. The future seems to be stretching out before me like a glorious ocean sunrise.

Then, I feel suddenly overwhelmed with fear. I feel nervous that Midas isn’t good enough, terrified to throw my darling into the scrutinizing den of agents, petrified at the thought that my maybe I’m just a lousy writer who will never succeed.

I don’t know what to feel. I guess I should just chill out, seeing as how I haven’t even started editing yet. Querying is still a ways off. *sigh* I have a way of getting all worked up over nothing. I guess I should try to sleep . . . if I can.

Maybe I will read Breaking Dawn in bed, that ought to do it. 😉

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8 Responses to ramblings

  1. Kiersten says:

    lol…

    I’ve posted a few times on this exact thing. My advice to you right now is focus on the rewrites and edits. When you get to the querying stage, Natalie and I can give you lists of agents that we’ve compiled–specifically the ones who answer quickly!

  2. Natalie says:

    Yeah, no worries, Renee. We’re here for you every step of the way. Enjoy the cleaning up and stuff.

    I know it’s hard to send it out, but it’s such a learning experience as well. It’s fun in a sick way.

  3. You guys are great.:)

    I actually feel an odd sense of clarity today. I know exactly what I need to do to improve my story. There are several things that I see now that I didn’t see at all before last night. It’s weird . . . but good.

    I honestly think I was considering just throwing the thing out there in a fit of enthusiasm, but last night I realized how I am still a ways off. But, like I said, now I know what to do.

  4. Kiersten says:

    Yup–do what you need to do first! Like when I sent Tut out with my horribly depressing first chapter entirely made up of backstory.

    Yeah.

    I’m glad you have newfound clarity! You go, girl.

  5. Natalie says:

    Oy, let’s add The Iron Queen to that terrible opening list. That entire book is getting a rewrite…I had to figure this out now…I could be submitting Blood Dragon.

    But no, learning the hard way here.

  6. Well, I wish I had the guts that you two have.

    Tristan was flawed, and I didn’t even finish editing, let alone think about sending him out.

    With Midas, I hope to be able to tame that drive to edit until I deem it perfect and just go for it.

  7. Never Settle says:

    When you ARE ready to send it out, don’t get discouraged by a little rejection! J.K. Rowling was turned down by 14 publishing houses before finally being accepted!

  8. Brady Frost says:

    Renee,

    You had the strength and persistence to finish the first draft of your novel. Take a break for a bit and work on the next project. Once your mind has cooled off, start editing and take it with a new approach. Don’t be afraid, you owe it to yourself and your characters to take the next step.

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