The Fear

It’s very amusing to look back on the days of querying my first book, Miss Midas. I was so full of hope, so confident. The thought of querying made me giddy with excitement. I absolutely couldn’t wait, (which consequentially might be why I didn’t do so hot, but that’s fodder for another post.)

So here I am, a solid year later. (I sent my first query exactly a year ago yesterday.) And oh, how things have changed. This time around, I’m absolutely terrified.

It’s funny because I know for a fact that Searcher is much better than Midas. And yet I’m still shaking in my boots at the idea of querying. Maybe it’s that I’ve learned a ton about the publishing world in this past year. I’ve met a lot of different writers, all with different stories. I have a better picture of the harsh realities of it all.

I thought understanding something was supposed to make you less afraid. Looks like this would be an exception to that rule.



  1. Becca on October 7, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    Yes…you’re afraid Ren….afraid of what you will do when you become an insta-success!!!! Not J/K 🙂 Cheers!

  2. Jessie Oliveros on October 7, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    I’m probably you a year ago. I’m excited to query, and my book isn’t even close to done…done as in ready for other eyes to look at it. So, when I am giddy with querying-excitement you can bring me down to earth and remind me that it’s, in fact, very frightening. Good luck.

  3. sraasch on October 7, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    You can do it! We’re all here, supporting you! It is terrifying, but the rewards are so worth it. Go, Ren!!

  4. Renee Collins on October 7, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Becca-Oh Becca. 🙂 It’s great to have cheerleaders like you and Diana. If I hit it big, I’m taking you both out to a steak dinner. 🙂

    Jessie-Aw, I hope I haven’t dampered your enthusiasm. Querying is very exciting. It’s a huge step, and it can be fun. I think I’ll probably find my enthusiasm as the actual moment approaches. Right now I’m just building up the wall, as they say.

    Sara-Thanks. And yes, I’m trying to keep my eyes on the potential prize. 🙂

  5. Diana on October 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    I know its scary, I mean what will you do once all the calls come in with agents screaming to represent you? How will you handle all the fan mail? What about the embarrassing mugs and t-shirts with your face on it? You are right Ren, its gonna be pretty scary…..

  6. Kasie West on October 7, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    Fear when used to motivate is a very helpful emotion. So use your fear and rock those agents’ worlds. 🙂 You’ll do great. I’m over here still wanting to see Midas in print, so that should say a lot (not sure what really, but a lot). 🙂

  7. Miriam S.Forster on October 8, 2009 at 12:31 am

    Understanding something doesn’t always make the fear go away. Or even usually. Sometimes, the more you know, the more scared you are. Remember…

    “We are all brave men and we are all afraid, and what the world calls a brave man, he too is brave and afraid like the all rest of us. Only he is brave for five minutes longer.”

  8. Tara on October 8, 2009 at 3:46 am

    Best of luck with this round of queries. It sounds like you are more prepared for it.

  9. Natalie Whipple on October 8, 2009 at 4:03 am

    Ah, yes. The fear. It is healthy though, because you’ll make sure everything is better this time.

    Just don’t be too afraid. You have grown so much! And Searcher is fabulous.

  10. Katie on October 8, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Dude. I was so there. I literally detested querying and I had a kick-ass query.

    It is SO scary. I feel for ya.

    GOOD LUCK! And you WILL get there! You will 🙂

    Go! Go! Go!

  11. Renee Collins on October 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Diana-HA! Oh you. 🙂 Of course, if that happens, people will probably mob you for autographs thinking that you are me. 😛

    Kasie-Ah, poor Midas. Her day may come. 🙂 And you’re right, I think I’m already channeling that fear. It’s making me make all kinds of changes to my poor manuscript. *sigh*

    Miriam-Great quote. I love that. 🙂

    Tara-Thanks! And I’m pretty sure I’m more prepared. More mentally prepared, at least.

    Natalie-Yeah, the fear has been useful. I have to admit. Hopefully it pays off!

    Katie-Thanks! You guys are all giving me a little more courage. 🙂

  12. Patti on October 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    I’m in the same situation, except it was a couple of years ago that I queried. Now I’m about to press the send button I’m much more nervous. Does that mean we have a better shot, or we know more.

  13. candicekennington on October 8, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    I know you’re afraid, but I want you to know that regardless of what querying holds this time, it is no reflection of the quality of your work. Your book is amazing!!

  14. Lady Glamis on October 9, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Renee, Natalie said your new changes with Searcher are AMAZING! I didn’t know you were changing the tense! You didn’t tell me that! So now I can’t wait to read even more than before.

    In a way, fear can drive us to do things nothing else would. Embrace it! Show it your the boss. 🙂

  15. Renee Collins on October 9, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Patti-I sure hope it means we’ve got a better shot! 🙂 Good luck to you. Let’s be brave together.

    Candice-No, you’re amazing! Seriously. 🙂

    Michelle-Yeah, BIG change. I’m going to do a post on it soon. On my craziness and personal love of inflicting work on self.